The sweet and sour of MacNuggets

Hello all!

Yes, I haven’t written in forever, but I have been dealing with a lot of changes in my life lately – too much to process.
I guess I can say I have gone through a culture shock… And ran into the arms of another.

I am now sitting in my bed, at a dorm room in Edinburgh – two weeks away from the end of my first trimester in Napier University, studying Screenwriting.

My whole life turned upside down in the last months, and it all started in India…

When I was there, literally on the other side of the planet, I was too overwhelmed with the world before me: the culture, the people, the heat… Everything was a big adventure and a constant fight: from getting a riquexa, to having a bit of water.
I laugh everytime I think about that blissful moment when they started selling chicken macnuggets in a MacDonalds near us!! It wasn’t spicy food, it wasn’t MacChicken either… They were MacNugetts!! Something so new and exciting… It was like I had never tasted one before, and it was heavenly.

When I first set foot in my home town again, it was like a MacNugget – actually, like a whole crate of them.
It wasn’t an epic moment, where you set foot on solid ground and you cry; it was good to hear my language again, but it wasn’t that either; the less warmer weather was welcome …

But it were the little things that ment the world to me.
The little things that people you love do… And you take so many of them for granted.

So, I wont remember the sun, the wind on my face or even the familiar airport or the anxiety I was feeling…

But I will remember my dad – standing there, looking around, trying to find me.
When his eyes finally set on mine, he just lit up -  and he showed me his characteristical smile.
It’s funny the things you miss, when you don’t pay attention or take people for granted… Before that, his smile was just a smile.
From that day on, his smile turned into so much more: a memory of safe times, a world of feelings I can’t even begin to understand or describe.

I will also remember a very special person, waiting for me too – someone very dear to me, who promised me changes.

I remember what he was wearing, how his hair was and the 3 day beard he had. I remember his smile too… And the way we kissed after so much time apart.
I remember our last day together, and the song that was constantly playing on the radio – and that haunts me every night.
What he said at the time, it was true; what I felt at the time was true as well – I loved him like crazy, and he might have loved me too.

Maybe.

I remember when I saw her… The one who puts up with my phone calls in the middle of drunken nights, who knows me better than I know myself and who loves every crazy thing I do. On that last night in Portugal, I said goodbye to her again, like so many months ago before my departure to India.
We sat in the car, and we said our quick goodbyes – not wanting any sappy or terribly teary moments.

And that’s when I felt it: fear.

I was going to leave my country again, and I would not be with anyone I knew for a long time.
Who would take my calls at 2 in the morning? Who would go partying with me, and know what I like to drink? Who would know how I felt when I got fired from my very first job? Who would I share things with?
How would I do in a whole different country, learning a whole different trade?

Now I am still in the different country, and many things have changed:
The special person I loved broke my heart; my friend is having a great life change, and I can’t be there to support her; I have new friends here; I am starting to love this town too… And I am letting go of all the hurt and fear I felt for the last months.

And now, only now, I can really apreciate the true mind blowing experience that was India.

Only now I realize that what I had with the people who were there with me was very important; that the whole journey was very tough, but I made it through – and loved it; that I actually grew up after the whole thing…

I remember millions of things from that trip, but the things I remember the most are the moments:
The moments where “S” cooked dinner for 4 people in that storage room we called a kitchen, at the end of an exausting day of work – and how great those noodles were!
The moments “C” would lent me her Mp3 player, when mine was out of batteries – because she knew I couldn’t sleep without music.
The moments when “J” would buy me shirts at the Bapu Bazar – because I only had 3 decent shirts that weren’t burning hot in that weather.
The moments when all 4 of us would sit around a computer trying to watch a movie – and we would inevitablly fall asleep.
When the mice tried to get in our rooms.
When it rained so bad, it flooded everything.
When we bought “J” a present for her birthday – and went out to a bar that served alcoholic drinks to celebrate!!
When we bargained for things in the Bazars.
When we slept under the stars in the desert – scared of the giant bugs.
When we had to nurse each other, because of several problems – the improvised toasts, the hot teas and encouragement.
When we had fights, and problems, and went insane and got sick of each other…

When we had the big event – and went insane with 500 children to attend (and only 100 of us), and only two hindi -english translators.

When we said goodbye, at the airport.

And tonight, with a deadline for a script aproaching and me not knowing if I am going to be able to change it into what they want, I stopped pannicking and just took a deep breath…

And remembered all the MacNuggets I got in the past 5 months…

If I make it through floods, 40 ºC temperatures, heartbreaks and goodbyes, I must be able to handle a script.

And if I don’t – this will be another MacNugget to add to the list.