Learning to Breathe…

Hello again.

Well, one thing that this trip is teaching me is this: you need to have patience in this life.
This is one BIG lesson for me, because I have never been very calm…

But India is just throwing THAT back at me as if saying “So… You think you can keep on being stressed all the time?? So lets try THIS!!”

EVERYTHING goes at a slower pace here – and people are fine with it.
People take their time to do their thing – they take the time to breathe.

Even in the supermarket, at the cash register, the guy was taking his time.
And I swear: its impossible to be mad at someone when that person keeps  smiling at you.

Of course we can find some people here who dont have a good heart (Like everywhere in the world!!) – MOST riqueshaw drivers!! (Except Raj!! He is the BEST!! He took us on a riqueshaw drive through out all jaipur, took us to the best places, and only charged us 50 Rupies!! Everytime we see him, we shake his hand and say hello – he is truly good)

This week, I started working in my project (Finnally!!).
And by God, I was so scared…

Not because we where visiting the slums – I knew it wasnt going to be pretty, but I had kind of talked myself into it.

I was truly worried about the people – the misery and suffering I was going to find there.
And I got especially scared about meeting the children…

I am clumsy by nature: I feel awkward and most of the times I dont know what to do. Especially with children who see right through you…
And with children who have been through so much as these children have… How can one behave?? What do you do?

So I took a deep breath, and I went to the slums with my group – and kept my fears to myself.
A translator called varoon came with us, and spoke to people in Hindi and spoke with us in English (because otherwise we wouldnt be able to communicate).
As i got there, I felt overwhelmed.

People were living in tents made of bags and rags… People who were 35 looked like they were 60.
They had no access to medical facilities, nor water nor electricity…
And when it rained, the floor of the tents got all muddy, and they had nowhere dry to sleep in.
And the worst were the children.

In the first slum, children were just wandering around, because the school was closed.
They just broke my heart when they asked for something to eat and I had nothing to give them…

Then we got to the second slum and the houses were equally bad – some were made of stone (partially), but the conditions were equally bad.

But what we saw surprised us: in the midst of all the crumbling houses and garbage we found a little tent full of children…

And behold: they were happy.

We had reached the school.

We were greeted with a great ‘Namaste’ from each of them, and they were all eager to show us what they had learned.

And the devotion of the teacher, KumKum, was incredible.

She really cared about them, and she was able to change their mindset -  instead of spending money in bad habits they have a savings account where they put everything they earn.

After they finish their education with her, they will be able to take that money from the bank and invest it so that they improve their studies. They actually have a future – and if they work on it, they might have a good one.

She works with the NGO Im colaborating with (JKSMS), and it is so beautiful to see someone caring and helping those who have no one else to turn… Especially in these days.
She recieved us with open arms, a big smile, and willing to share her experiences.
The children were adorable, and they all wanted to take pictures with us.

After spending a few time with the NGO and the people who really work there and in the field, it made me realize how hard it is for them to get something done.
And how much harder it must be when they fail to do something- because you dont only disapoint yourself -  you dissapoint those people who depend on you.

We are now working on an event to raise awareness to the situation of children in the slums, and we hope we are able to start something big…

Or maybe this is just the beginnig- maybe we just took a small step on a very long road.

For now, all I can say is I’m trying to get the hang of it all: I’m making a difference…
I’m learning to breathe…

And believe me, now I do not take a single breath for granted…

School in Bamballa

School in Goner Mode

Bamballa school

One of the houses

And we said goodbye

Lost In Translation!!

Hello there

So, when you are in a different country you get a bit lost in translation…

Especially in such a place as india!

The other day a very strange thing happened!

we discovered a very cute and very ocidental coffe place not far from our home, and we go there to have a time out when all the confusion and the chaos is too much, just to have a small taste of home!

The other day, before going to do some case studies at a buisness school here in Jaipur, we went there for breakfast. My breakfast amounted to a total of 120 Rupies ( about 3 euros), and i only had 200 rupies.
I said to the nice guy at the counter: “Im sorry, but I only have this…”
And the guy said> ‘thats ok, I have a microwave.’
I thought to myself: “Ok, I understood this wrong… Hes going to put my drink in the microwave, not the money…”
So I smiled, a bit confused, and gave him the money.

He picked up the bills,and he  put them in the microwave!!

I stared, in awe and confusion, wondering what the heck was going on… He stared back at me, smiling and happy to be helpful…
I didnt have the heart to ask what the hell he was doing…

afterwards, he gave me my bills and said “Touch it!!”
I just looked stupid and stared back at him, smiled, and waited for my change.

It was a very funny moment,  and it made me think a bit.

Even a thing so simple as to buy a telefone card is an adventure -especially if the lady on teh other side of the line speaks to you in hindi…

Through out these months plenty of things are going to get lost in translation… But I hope the core of my messages get through!

LOve you all!!! And miss you like crazy!!!

Hello India!!

Hello Everybody!!

Yes, after days of worry and a toatl of 24 hours of travel, I got to JAIPIUR!!

And believe me, it has been an adveture for itself – and Im only on day two!!

Internet is very scarce – Im now at the CL in Japiur, and Im writign this so you all know Im alive!!

Ill just resume some things Ive done here so far:
1- after 6 hours of waiting at the airport, we finnally got reunited with Tomas and Maltez.
We went to the pre paid taxi section of the airport, and they hurried to pur ours bags into it.
They didnt have enough room in the trunck, so they put some of them in the top of the car!
They tied them up with ropes.
He started speeding, and on the first curve, I just saw my BAG being projected from the roof of the car!! It was really bad!

At least it didnt open, right?

2) Heat. Its very VERY hot here – about 40 degrees.
Youre always sweaty and sticky, and then you get used to it very quickly.

3) Riqueshaws – MY GOD. They drive like crazy…
If you want to walk around, you need to THROW YOURSELF onto the road, and pray for no one to ran you over!
Theres no such thing as traffic signs or traffic directions – you drive where you can how you can!!

Cant really update much more…

The next weekend we might go to the desert!!!

So, Ill keep you posted!!

Kissesssss from INDIAAAAA!!

One Last look…

In one hour and a half, I’ll be boarding on a plane to go to London…

And then, I’ll catch another one to go to India.

It’s the first time I’ll be away for so long – and I can’t help but to take it all in.
As I took a shower, at 3 o’clock in the morning, I wonder how will my life be there? India… So far away…

I said goodbye to some close friends – almost cried as I said goodbye to my friend Carina ( I had to chase her out of the car before I started crying like a baby…); felt a sharp pain as I left Marina home… Felt a heavy heart as I talked to Piu on the phone… And sang along the music Waking up In vegas… And felt sad that most people I loved I had to say goodbye through phone.

And then… Family.
I met my brother Nuno today – he was nervous and impatient about some work he had to do, so we barely exchanged words all afternoon.
I was a bit sad, but that’s ok – Work is work.

Later on, both my brothers called, wishing me a safe trip…
And as I got home from saying goodbye to my friends, I had a present waiting for me.
My brother Nuno left me a book – One he had promised to give me a while ago. 

And he wrote me something…

And it reminded me why I love him so much…
No matter how much we fight or sometimes don’t talk – he just wrote everything that I needed to hear. 

I walked around my house, trying to take mental pictures.
I looked around my bedroom and laughed out loud – This will mean something else the next time I see it.

I got to my living room and watched my dad alseep in his favourite chair – kissed him goodnight.

I Put my dog in the kitchen.

Put my bags at the door.

And take it all in with one last look…

For I know: It will be a while until I see them again.

And the Verdict is in…

So, I couldn’t wait.
The anxiety was killing me, I kept feeling sick and just nervous all the time…

I just wanted to know: will I stay, or will I go?

I was feeling worst… But that could be just in my mind…
I didn’t know…
So I picked myself up, and went to the emergency section.

At first I got relaxed: the doctor who was in charge of me had taken care of my parents before. She knew what se was doing (finnally!!).
And after a few seconds with her, I got scared…

The doctor said that what I had could be a big problem if not cured properly. I could have plenty of problems, and India was not the best choice…
I pratically forced her to examine me.

She did.

And here is what the doctor told me: “Here you have these pills. Take one each week, just to be safe. Be careful there… Otherwise… You’re fit to travel”.

I was so shocked by the answer, I even asked her twice:

Me: “Are you sure? I have nothing in my system anymore?”
Doctor: “Yes! The rest did you well, and you took your meds… You can go now!”
Me: “So… I Can go to India??”
Doctor: “Yes!”
Me: “Are you sure?  No need to double check?”

She must’ve thought I was crazy, so many times I asked her if I could Really REALLY go!

Afterwards, I spoke to my brothers, all happy.
One of them (the eldest and craziest of us 3) was crazy happy for me and even asked to go and visit me in August.
The other one, told me the best I could do was stay here.
There was still a big risk for me to get sick again, and then what??
I should stay, and then go to Scotland – It’s not like I’ll be here all year.

Well, so I was at a crossroad here!
Both of them love me loads, and both of them are like fathers to me…

So… I had a discussion with myself.
“Do I want to play it safe? The doctor said I could go… I have meds with me and there are hospitals there.”
And then, the main question poped into my head: “If I stay here… will I regret it ? Will I beat myself up for at least not tryin it?”

And there, before my half full bag on the floor, I got the answer…

So my dear readers (yes, all three of you!!)

PEPPER JOANNE IS GOING TO INDIAAAAAAAAAA!

This is the project I will be a part of.

Today… Is the day.

Today is the day…

The day I’ll know if I’m going to India this Saturday…

Or not.

Today is the day I’ll know…
If it was ment to be… Or not.
Today will define the rest of my summer…

Today… Is the day.

Deadline

What can you do, when all you CAN do, is wait?

I’m still recovering from the idiotic antibiotic problem I had… All I can do is wait for the meds to take effect.
Or not… And then try something else.

This means I can’t get out of my house, and need plenty of rest and stress free time.

But how can I be stress free when:

1. Saturday gets near, and I’m still not well.
2. The official invitation letter from Scotland got lost in the mail…
   Yep. TWICE!!
   I asked for them to send me in registered mail, and still no answer…
3. You send me unsettlling text messages in the middle of the night, and then disappear.

How am I supposed to be stressed free, when the possibility of not going to India aproaches me like a derrailed train?
If I don’t get better, I won’t go.
I will lose this once in a lifetime opportunity…

Maybe there’s a cosmic lesson here.
I bet I should be learning lots of wise things by now…
Things like “Patience is a Virtue” or “All good things come to those who wait” pop into my head…

And then an alternative summer appears too: one with me here.

So I get up, get dressed,walk around the house a bit and shrug these thoughts away.
I think about all my friends who are across the planet, and smile.

Hoping that my body meets the deadline my trip imposed.

I could use another Cigarrett…

One Upon a time I loved a song.

It was a special song, that described an ex boyfriend of mine - we had the kind of relationship that makes you dizzy, inebriated… And you can’t get enough of.

This sort of thing is fun… When you’re both on the same page.
But when someone wants out, we have a problem.
Because suddenly, it’s like you’ve stopped smoking…

And you crave for another cigarrett.

You know it’s bad for you… You know it will kill you  in the process… 
Slowly and painfully…
But you need it.

So you turn off your brain, turn off all reason…
And you meet him again.
You tell yourself  it’s the last time, you won’t ever answer his calls again…

But you always keep that little pack of cigarretts hidden… Just in case.
You keep a lighter in your pocket, just to be safe…

Today, I quit.
Not smoking – I don’t smoke.

But I quit us.

I bravely looked into your eyes and said to myself: No more. Enough.
You asked me if you should fight for us…
And suddennly all the rehearsed conversations and thought up plans slipped between my fingers… 

So many times I asked you to fight for me, to prove me wrong… And you did none of the sort.
You had no power to fight for me, and strength to keep my love.
And now I had to admit out loud what i knew for a while…

The answer escaped my lips, in a cold and lonely breath: “I won’t fight anymore. I’m done.”

And I told you again, just like that night so many years ago on the beach: prove me wrong.
But I’m sure you won’t.

Now, the cold night comes…
And I tossed my patch of nicotine away…

But damn…

I could use another cigarrett…

25th Anniversary of my AIESEC

This Saturday, we reached the age of 25.

Of course, I was still fragile with the alergic reaction and the infection it had caused… But I went to our special dinner.
And it was Magical!

Every speech was full of emotion, and hearts where exposed to the crowd of parents, AIESECers and guests.
We celebrated another year passed, and how much we grew in between…

Last year we where 8 people at most in AIESEC…
Now we’re almost 30!!
In my team, there were only two people: Martha and Me…
Now: 6!!
Last year doing an internship was a dream…
This year, India awaits!!
And by God, I even got an Award!
It was so unexpected, I got on stage and all I could say was ‘Uhm… thank you!’.
(And imagne that- I was part of the drama club! )

And when I saw the amazing work of everyone there, I felt so proud.
Of our OCP, who I love calling Jessy!
She was so focused, and pushed everyone to reach their best!
She coordinated everyone like clockwork, and if there was any problem to be solved, she would do it! And helped me so much and understood my problems…

And of course, of Diogo and Sara- always willing to help out in anything one might need: thank you babies! You know I love you, right?  
Miguel, who worked so diligentlly to get the entrance fee from  people(lol)
Alexandra who worked so hard as well, and is now in Jaipur – india!!

It was a pleasure and a privilege working with you guys…
You stand for everything AIESEC is, and you’re my favourite kind of people!!
I can only hope to work with you again!

LOVE YOU ALL!

Alergic reaction

I was supposed to be in India by now…

But I’m still in Portugal – Why?

I was a victim of a very strong alergic reaction to some anthibiotics I had been taking, and I wasn’t able to fly to India with the rest of my group…
After spending the last two months taking vaccines, getting pills, choosing things to take…
After spending the last weeks saying goodbye to people I loved, doing and re-doing my bag at least 5 times so it got below the 23kg, getting all the paperwork and flights in order…

When the doctor said “India?? You can’t go to India like this!!” I swear…
Some sort of blind rage got over me. Of course, instead of getting mad, like a normal person, I almost started crying. 
After months of preparation, weeks of stress, goodbyes and memories… An adventure so close to me, within my reach… And… It ended like THIS?

At a doctor’s office, with her saying “Meh… india is not a good idea”?! I think Not.
So, now I’m getting better. So I can go to india this Saturday!

Fingers crossed you guys!